Navigating the deterioration of a parent’s health can be traumatic. First, you notice things that appear to be insignificant, like missed birthday calls or lack of interest in typical activities. Then you notice other things, like a disorganized home, loss of appetite, distant looks, edgy or sad behavior, or missed medication doses, and you start to think your loved one is changing and needs some help. So you jump into action if your loved one cooperates because, at this point, everything is a negotiation. Fast forward to several appointments later, and everything has changed. Words like dementia, stroke, never the same, early-onset, Alzheimer’s, and caregiver support groups are swirling around in your head. You’ve finished school, and you’re making career moves in the midst of all this.
Life Interrupted: What Caregiver Stats Show Us
Feelings of isolation, doubt, fear, and uncertainty set in. You are a young caregiver now with new responsibilities. Yet, despite this new journey and these feelings, you can do this! Studies show that one in four women (25.4%) are caregivers, and one in five men (18.9%) are caregivers. The role of family caregiver can be isolating, but please know you are not alone. Caregiver stats from the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) show that one out of four caregivers is a Gen Z or millennial caregiver. According to a report by the National Alliance for Caregiving:
- On average, millennial caregivers are 30.2 years old and are the most diverse generation of caregivers (race/ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation).
- Millennial caregivers are often single (never married) and have lower household incomes than older caregivers.
- Caregivers typically care for a parent or grandparent who is 59.5 years old with 1.8 conditions, typically a long-term physical condition, followed by a short-term physical condition or emotional/mental health problem.
You are not alone
When taking care of someone else, taking care of yourself is also essential. Create safe spaces with friends and associates that you can vent to and who may have some understanding of what you’re going through. Look outside your usual circle to older friends or family, your friends’ older siblings, or parents who may have had a caregiving experience. They can provide a different level of emotional support and word-of-mouth recommendations. Also, Google is your friend. Several online resources are available to provide support, tools, and guidance. When searching online, type in your loved one’s condition and caregiver support, like, “dementia caregiver support.” Sort through the results. Bookmark the articles that seem helpful, and learn and apply what you can over time. Be patient with yourself and your loved one.
Resources for Caregivers:
- Teepa Snow is a resource for caring for someone with dementia.
- Keep It Pumping is a resource for caring for someone with heart failure.
- Caregiver.com is a general caregiver resource.
- Caregiving.org is a general caregiver resource.
Caregiving is a marathon, not a Sprint
As a young caregiver, you’ll see your parent and loved one go through many changes; they aren’t invincible, and neither are you. You have to take care of yourself, or you will burn out. Studies show that caregivers often neglect their health.
- More than half of caregivers (53%) indicated that a decline in their health compromises their ability to provide care.
- In a 30-day period, 14.5% of caregivers reported experiencing 14 or more mentally unhealthy days, including stress, depression, and problems with emotions.
- In a 30-day period, 17.6% of caregivers reported experiencing 14 or more physically unhealthy days, including physical illness or injury.
To avoid these common pitfalls, schedule activities and breaks to take care of your mental and physical health. Lean into your support system and ask for help. As your confidence grows and you build routines, seek out local agencies that provide respite care services. Also, self-care is not optional. What does self-care look like for you; what gives you energy and refreshes you? Plan individual self-care activities and activities with your loved one: an old-school movie night might be a hit and provide some needed relaxation for both of you.
You Can Do This!
Remember, you can do this. The caregiver journey is isolating and full of constant change, but caregiver support is available for you online and in real life. Find your tribe, and take time to recharge. Remember, you are not alone on the days you don’t feel capable or motivated. Most importantly, keep the main thing, the main thing: learning how to care for your loved one and yourself in this new normal, making new routines, and experiencing each other in new healthy, safe, and healing ways. If you are looking for a supportive online community to share, vent, and learn with, join the Future Caregiver Movement Facebook Group, a safe space for millennial and Gen Z caregivers to connect online.
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